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“Acceptance” was written as a result of the loss of an infant, who never left the hospital, except for being transferred to a children’s hospital after being born. It never arrived home, where a nursery had been lovingly prepared by their two loving, expectant, and overjoyed parents.
The parents were young, and one of the most active members of our local church. Indeed, the father would become the Assistant Pastor just a few short years after. The father’s family was one of the original founding members of the church, and his was the largest family in membership. His wife started attending the church long before they were married, and in fact, it was at this church that she had accepted Christ as Savior. Their courtship and marriage, followed by their Spirit-filled service to the Lord, was one of the great “stories/highlights” of the history of the church. Carol and I were honored to have been guests at their wedding.
It wasn’t long before the first child came along. You all know that the entire church family was as excited as they were. They had already “adopted” the baby as theirs, long before she was born. The pregnancy was normal, no complications at any time during pregnancy, birth, and afterward. She is a wonderful, beloved and adored, healthy child to this day.
A few months later, it was announced that the second child was on the way. And, once again, I think the church family was just as excited and expectant as the parents. The pregnancy went even smoother than the first, and joy and excitement built as each day moved one day closer to the birth of their second child.
I think we all remember where we were when we got the news that the young mother was in labor … then she was rushed to the hospital … we all waited … waited … waited … to hear the joyous news. However, the news we got shattered us to the core … the baby had been born … but something was terribly, dreadfully wrong.
Without going into details, the baby was born with underdeveloped major organs, including the heart. The baby was rushed to the children’s hospital, and a very few, short days later, she passed away.
Stunned … shattered … every emotion imaginable-and unimaginable. How do you comfort the parents? Perhaps the single sentence containing the most gut-wrenching emotion and passion, is only one word in length, and ends with a question mark:
“Why?”
What makes this sentence so emotionally charged is that it is being asked not only by the parents and family, but friends and relatives. And, let’s face it. It is a question that, at times like these, even those acquaintances who aren’t friends are thinking the same question. Those whom we have witnessed to, who may not have responded to our invitations or witness, will now, perhaps more than anyone else … be looking to see how we handle “this.” I must say this, because it has to be said: It is exactly at times like these, when “the world is watching,” when we must be the witness, the Christian, that we have, to them, claimed to be. However, what makes this situation so tough is that it is also true Christians, born-again believers, which, being human also, will have this same question.
And, they too, will be closely, intently watching to see how you handle “this.”
And, trust me, this only adds to the weight of the grief. For, now, you have not only the weight of the situation to bear, but you must bear the added burden of their doubt and fear. And, how you handle “this” may be the one witness that brings them to Christ, or draws those Christians experiencing this pain, closer to Him.
Our Pastor has made this statement, and I have used it myself on many occasions:
There are some questions, that, we just will never get the answer to, on this side of Heaven. And then, when we get to Heaven, we won’t have the question.
I do know that to minister to others in great pain, we must have experienced great pain.
And, as a minister, you will never look into the eyes of anyone who has not experienced great pain. It is how you have handled the greatest pain in your life that will be the most effective witness to others.
So, while grieving for their child, God gave me this poem. I wrote it, in one sitting, while sitting in my van, early one morning, in our driveway. I still have the memo pad sheets with the notes scribbled on them.
Almost always, God gives me the title for a poem before I write it, or at least during, or immediately after the poem is written. This poem was completely different, and this was the first time this had ever happened: I could not think of a title for the poem. For the first time, I had no clue; I was completely blank. I think it was because I was still in shock over the child’s death, and being human, it was so hard to deal with, and I knew all about the question I just wrote about, “Why?”
I struggled with the question of the title for several days. This had just not happened before. A few days later, Carol and I were staying on Cape Cod, a weekend getaway.
I still hadn’t come up with a title, even though I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I remember going to sleep watching the Christian channel. In the middle of the night, I was abruptly awakened … God spoke to me, clearly and plainly, and He only spoke one word: “Acceptance.” I knew immediately what He meant.
It is the only time I have ever written a poem, in which the title is not included within the body of the work.
1 Peter 5:7: “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”
Richard.VincentRose.
ACCEPTANCE
Even though I never knew you
I won’t forget you
Even though I never knew you
I loved you
Even though I never knew you
I’ll miss you
Even though you left so soon
I won’t forget that you were here
Even though you are gone
I’ll still hold you near
All at once you were our little girl
All at once you became Heaven’s pearl
Did the angels create such a fuss
That you would have to suddenly leave us?
To go, help prepare a place
Tidy up a bit
To help make ready a place
Where so much love could fit
As my loving parents
You went before
But now, as your loving child
I’ve gone ahead to stand at Heaven’s door
For, I have gone to prepare a place
In the very presence of God’s grace
Now, I wait for you to join me
The first glimpse of you I am waiting to see
How big? How tall?
The color of your hair-
Will you have any hair at all?
I don’t care how you look
It doesn’t matter you see
For I love you
And want to spend all my time with thee
I’ll have so much to show you
There’ll be so much to learn
But, I’ll place you under my wing
And, in just a moment
You’ll know everything
The answers to questions
You’ve always had
How life can sometimes be so sad
How something called life
Can even contain death
And, Why? Why? Why?
Elizabeth?
Some answers you will only learn here
That is why this place
You should hold so dear
To get here-to see me
Should be your career
To get here, on your list, should be first
Believe me, there are places worse
For it is here that I stand waiting for you
My cheeks are still chubby, my eyes are still blue
The only thing missing is both of you
You must accept that the reason I’m here
You may never know
But somehow, not knowing
Will-it must!-make your faith grow
For faith is believing in what you can’t see
Even if what you can’t see…is me
So, hold to your faith
And accept what must be
And believe that one day
Once again, you’ll be holding me
Richard.Vincent.Rose.
JesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesus
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