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For those of you who have been betrayed by the one closet to you, trust me when I say that I understand exactly, and I mean, exactly, how you feel. But, the most important thing to realize is this: Jesus understands exactly how you feel. He personally showed me why He stood so close beside me when I was going through this, the most terrible time of agony and suffering-and doubt-that you could possibly go through. In fact, I couldn’t understand why Jesus rushed to my side … why He wouldn’t leave me … at the darkest point of my life … it was then that He made me realize why what I was going through meant so much-personally to Him … why it mattered to Him … I questioned Him, the Lord of Glory, the King of Kings, Jesus … I just couldn’t understand why He stayed so close to me, and wouldn’t leave. After all, Jesus, what do you know about this??? My partner in ministry betrayed me, one of my best friends betrayed me, and everyone had turned their back on me when I needed them most … Why, Jesus, would you not turn away, like all the others??? What do you know about this?
It was then that He told me: “Who knows more about betrayal, about being betrayed, than Me?” He didn’t have to tell me twice. Who would know more about betrayal, about being betrayed, than Jesus?
I learned that, what I thought was the worst thing to ever happen to me, was actually the best thing that had ever happened to me. A lesson that only Jesus, and time, could teach me.
That, it really did “take a Judas to fulfill God’s plan.”
I only wish to encourage and comfort you, and I can do this best by sharing with you a little of my experience, but concentrating on the most important things: What I learned, what God taught me as I went through the process (and yes it is a process) of betrayal, recovery, and healing. Trust me when I say that, what I thought was the worst thing to ever happen to me, and in fact was meant to destroy me and my ministry, turned out to be, in time, the best thing that ever happened to me. Of course, like you, I had no way of knowing at the time … you know all the emotions I felt, and none of them were good or healthy. But, and please listen very carefully: It was the way I handled the situation that turned everything out for the good. This is critical, absolutely critical. The only thing you can do is to turn to Jesus, like never before, and trust Him-and Him alone, through the process. Do what He says, not what your family, friends, church family, etc., tell you to do. I don’t mean to ignore Godly council. But, Godly council should not be something that will get you arrested, or someone seriously hurt (a church leader wanted me to join with him and a group and go “take care of the situation”). I realized quick that I couldn’t do anything in jail. I would be locked up, and those guilty would be free to continue their sin. Do what He tells you to do. Listen, and do. Believe, and follow through.
Pray, read your Bible. Then, pray, and read your Bible again.
Go to every Church service you can. I was fortunate to live in an area where there were revival services, somewhere nearby, every night of the week I went. I prayed. I read my Bible. I went to church. I prayed. I read my Bible. I then prayed again. If you are serious about recovery and healing, and knowing exactly what to do, and when, this is the only way. Pray, read your Bible, pray, read you Bible. It is true: Some things can’t be beaten unless you pray and fast.
I can’t overstate how, in the biggest crisis of my life, Jesus literally rushed to my side. “It Took a Judas,” which I also call, “The Hymn of the Betrayed,” reads like a Psalm. Indeed, David struggled with being lonely, scared, angry, betrayed, and in despair. How often we read him crying out to God! It helped me to know that he felt the same way I did. Someone asked me once how sharing a story of betrayal would glorify God. Well, the betrayal was an end, only the beginning. Sometimes, the best thing that you can do to help someone who is facing a struggle, a crisis, is just to tell them, “I know … I’ve been there … I understand … the same thing happened to me … and God brought me out.” Remember, one of the reasons God rescues you, brings you out, is so that you can go back and get others.
Here’s what I learned:
For the first time in my life I understood Paul’s writing that you are supposed to love your wife the way Christ loved the church.
I spent hours wailing, praying, crying out to God, wailing … I understood, for the first time, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.
I would also, in the middle of soul-wrenching prayer, gain the full revelation of Jesus’ words from the Cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Early on, Jesus told me to “Stand up and become the warrior I made you-Gather the other warriors and pray.” Within 24 hours, incredible things began to happen.
I fell in love with Jesus all over again. I turned to Him, which was exactly the opposite of what the enemy had planned. His intention was for the betrayal to destroy both my ministry, and me.
Like Paul, I had to “go to Arabia.” Which I did. I prayed and fasted, solid, for 24 straight days. I ate nothing but God’s Word.
I couldn’t explain this, but God had me start by reading 1 and 2 Peter. I realized that Peter had had a bout with betrayal also.
Then, I read Isaiah. To this day, just turning to the book of Isaiah stirs something deep within my soul.
I learned 2 lessons from the life of Joseph, when Potifer’s wife tried to lead Joseph into sin, and I thank Dr. David Jeremiah for giving me these two:
“When Joseph lost his coat, he demonstrated something that some of us never learn: It is better to lose your coat than to lose your character.”
And, “Circumstances don’t change character-They reveal character.”
I learned that Jesus will go and get you, as in “the lost sheep.” But, he won’t tie you up, throw you over his shoulder, and bring you back forcefully.
I realized that this betrayal wasn’t the end. It was the beginning.
That, it’s not what you lose … it’s what you gain.
I learned that “A little sin never stays little.”
For me, God showed me the story of Abraham, from Genesis. That I should go into a far land that He would show me, away from my father and my kindred.
For some time, I had this idea that I was going to have a son. And, when that happened, I was to name him “Daniel.” That kept running through my mind for months before any of this happened. Daniel. Son. Son. Daniel.
I had no way of knowing that events were leading up to my moving away … far away … to a town called “Danielson.”
My prayer is that this encourages you, and helps you in your struggle … right now.
When I was going through my battle, God placed me in places where I would hear just the right word, or read just the right thing … My hope is in the Lord, who brought me out. The same Lord and Savior who will bring you out, if you will only let him. This hope is the reason I have shared this story, and my prayer is that I have written it, for you, for “such a time as this.”
And, always remember,
“When the pain is so deep
And it hurts so bad
And you just don’t understand
Just remember, My child,
It took a Judas to fulfill God’s plan”
Richard.Vincent.Rose.
IT TOOK A JUDAS
Oh Lord, please bend your ear
To wailing soul that you hold dear
Oh Lord, please hear my cry
It hurts so bad that I could die
Dear Lord, hear me in my despair
I lift my voice
I know you are there
A promise to never forsake nor leave
My soul, my spirit, consumed to grieve
A traitor from the pit I’ve found
Compassed by sorrow, their evil knows no bound
All at once I hear your voice
Giving me reason to rejoice
Sackcloth and ashes
Your humble servant waits
Surroundings tremble
As Your voice gravitates
“When the pain is so deep
And it hurts so bad
And you just don’t understand
Just remember, My child,
It took a Judas to fulfill God’s plan”
Richard.Vincent.Rose.
JesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesus
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