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Tonight, I'd like to share with you a poem that I wrote in honor of, and in memory of, my Father-In-Law, Carol's father, Mr. Vincent Martone. Many of you here knew Mr. Martone, as he attended church here the last months of his life, until he became too ill to get out, and then finally had to have "around the clock" care at a nursing home.
I'll never forget the first time that he came to church here; it was a Sunday morning. Mr. Martone had 3 sayings that I will always fondly remember him for, and he used them all that morning. As I was helping him along, down the sidewalk, up the steps, and into the building, taking it easy, one step at a time, he reminded me, "Inch by inch, everything's a cinch." This has already become something that I catch myself saying today. It became time to meet the pastor. As the pastor and Mr. Martone exchanged greetings, introducing themselves, Mr. Martone quipped, as only he could, "Do you get paid by the job or by the hour?" As they parted, Mr. Martone then told the pastor a saying that he was most famous for ... whether he saw you at the store, at a restaurant, maybe you were the mailman, or a doctor ... whether you saw him all the time, or this was the first meeting, he would always end the conversation with, "Remember that God loves you and so do I!"
I'd like to add that I loved Mr. Martone, and always loved just being around him, watching and listening to him. I heard Paul Harvey say one time "The most important thing that a man can do for his children, is to love their mother." There is another saying that I would like to add, an original: "The most important thing that a man can do for his father-in-law, is to love his daughter."
I've said before, and it comes to me again, that I believe that we need more men who are
not afraid to stand up and say, "I love Jesus." "I love my wife." "I love my family."
There is something now that I would like to say, publicly, about Carol:
Carol did everything she could for her father. Her whole life seems to be one big sacrifice-She spends almost her entire existence doing things, helping other people. Like many of us, especially when we first become members of God's family, Carol would wonder, "What's my gift?" The apostle Peter described Jesus this way in Acts 10:38: "How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good ... for God was with Him". Again, to repeat, Carol's entire life is spent doing things for, and helping other people. Let me say this to all: that puts her in pretty special company, and let me add that, that may be "the greatest gift of all."
During the months that Carol tried to do all she could for her father ... the long drives ... the sleepless nights ... going days without a decent meal ... just watching his condition worsen, and plus at the same time, still helping others all she could ... she has never once ... not one time complained. Not once. Let me allow that to sink in before I take a small part of it back: The only time she ever got disgruntled, or upset, or complained was this: She would feel so bad, even cry, because she felt like she had not done enough-that there was more that she could or should do. Part of my message tonight is not just to her, but to all who have experienced that same emotion, some more recent than others: sometimes, for reasons we will never know or understand, there is just nothing more that we, or anyone, can do. It's just not in our hands anymore. It's funny, but just by sharing this with you, a small part of what she has done and gone through, it strikes me that she has helped even more people ... here ... tonight ... that's a gift.
There is something else that I would like to add, for those of you who spent part of last year, and parts of this year, mourning the loss of a loved one. I hope that this, in some small way, helps. My younger sister, Susan, who was the most bubbly, faithful person I have ever known, contracted cancer at age 34. The family found out in the summer, and by early September, she was gone. She had beaten cancer once before as a child, and part of my early childhood experiences were going to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, TN, where she was a patient. We were all so sure that she was going to be healed this time. So sure. After she died, I had real trouble understanding, and accepting the fact that cancer had killed her. The biggest question was "Why?" "Why, God, Why?" Then in the middle of the night, I was awakened from a sound sleep. As I stared at the ceiling, wondering what noise had caused me to awake so abruptly, God spoke directly to my heart ... in a voice just like I am speaking here to you. God spoke only nine words, but it was all I needed. In a voice "plain as day," He said, "What happened with Susan is between Susan and Me." The peace of God overwhelmed me, and I never questioned Him again.
The very first official act that Carol and I did as husband and wife, upon leaving The Wedding Chapel in Ringgold, GA, was driving to Dogwood Cemetery in Tunnel Hill, GA, where, together, we placed the bridal bouquet on Susan's grave. Of course, it was Carol's idea. I fully expect Susan to be one of the first ones to greet Carol in Heaven. It will be the first time that they will ever meet.
It was just after 4:20 on the afternoon of November 4th, one day after Carol's birthday, that I received the call from Carol, that her father had passed away. I told Carol to stay right there, to not go anywhere. I left work, and fought the tears as I drove the 57 miles home. As I entered the house, and just held Carol tightly, I'll never forget the very first words she spoke. She said, through the tears, "They weren't upset because you had to leave early, were they?" I just about lost it right there! I was heartbroken that even now, all she could think about was me. I did not say it, but I thought, "Man ... Carol ... Sweetheart ... just once think about yourself."
Soon, we arrived at Mr. and Mrs. Martone's house, meeting the rest of the immediate family to discuss arrangements for the funeral service. Mrs. Martone looked at me, and asked if I would read something at the service. I told her it would be an honor. A few minutes later, Mrs. Martone looked at Carol and asked, "Carol, do you know what he will be reading?" Carol looked at her mom, and gave me the biggest compliment I've ever received. She said, "He'll know. He'll just know what he's supposed to read. God will give it to him." Yes, my first thought was something about she must know something I don't.
What kept running through my mind was that I needed to write something that Mr. Martone would want to say if he was here. Over and over, all I got was the phrase, "Don't weep for me.” "Don't weep for me." I thought it odd that it was "don't weep,” not "don't cry." Later that night, in my home office, I tried to concentrate on doing other things. As is usually the case, God will give me a line here and a line there, as the night goes on. Every 15 minutes or so, I would get another line, turn away from the computer, and as fast as I can write, I put the lines down ... then return to work. Somewhere around 2:30 in the morning, I had all the lines, and "Don't Weep For Me" was done. I knew it was complete. The obituary came out in the paper in a couple of days, which detailed Mr. Martone's military service. I had forgotten about this part of his life, so I went back in and wrote a new section about his overseas service, and then felt like I needed to include the line he was most famous for, so I added that.
After I wrote "Don't Weep for Me", I realized that it was not meant to just comfort Mr. Martone's family, but for all families, everywhere, during their time of loss. My prayer is that this really will bring comfort, and peace to your souls, this day. I begin with my introduction from the funeral service on Thursday, November 7th, 2002:
“I wanted to write something that I thought that Mr. Martone would say if he were here today, right here.
And, God gave me this.
It’s called “Don’t Weep For Me.”
DON’T WEEP FOR ME
Don’t weep for me
If you could see
What I now see
You would not weep...you would shout “Victory!”
I know that only sadness now you feel
But, you need to know that heaven is real
If you could only see the streets of gold, the pearly gate
You would not cry, you might even envy my fate
The skies are always sunny, bathed in God’s own light
There is no more rain, no clouds, and no more night
I’ve left behind sickness, heartache, and pain
No more tears, broken dreams, for now all is gain
For, here, there is no more sorrow, poverty, or lack
I can tell you now-I don’t ever want to go back
Back to the earth, and the trials every day...
No, I’ll take Jesus, and peace....right here I will stay
Don’t weep for me now
You don’t know what you do!
Don’t wish I was there
For if you only knew!
On November 4th, at 3:25
It was not that I died, I became alive
I have no more sickness, no more pain
There will be no more clouds, no thunder, no rain
I served my country in Europe, in lands across the sea
But it is only now that I’ve seen real victory
I’ve traveled from the battlefield to serve Uncle Sam
And now I’ve landed safely in the bosom of Abraham
For, here in eternity I will forever rest
And walk down these streets with the one called “Blessed”
For I have reached my eternal reward
With the chorus of saints I join in one accord
I don’t have time now to shed just one tear
I can only hope that one day, you too, will be here
My body I’ve left, but why should you grieve?
I’ve traded it all for this new body I’ve received
I’m singing right now, and laughing out loud
If you could see me right now, I know you’d be proud
I trusted in Jesus, and Jesus alone
I traded my hospital bed to sit on God’s throne
There should be only one reason for you all to cry
And that is to not know where you’ll go when you die
For one day you’ll die and you’ll be right here
But-if you’ve trusted in Jesus, you’ll have nothing to fear
I’ll wait, and I’ll wait for you to decide
If you don’t trust Jesus, then I’ll be the one who cried
So, don’t weep for me
You know the gospel is true
Follow its course
Lest, from above, I weep for you
So, just remember, if you start to cry
Instead, just look up at that big, blue sky
I’m looking down to tell you again, just like days gone by,
That “God loves you ... and ... so do I ...”
Richard.Vincent.Rose.
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